Responses To What People Ask and What I Said
Seminar- My Mother wishes I would forgot the whole disease and work with her. I said Mom I have a God given talent I cannot waste A women stood up in front of 300 people in a room with six doctors each in a different field and ask. I am the total care taker for my Father and she said I ask him to do this and that I tried all different things and I can’t get him to work. What am I doing wrong and how do I correct it? They did not know how to answer her. I raise my hand stood up and said I know exactly what she is doing wrong and how to correct it. I asked her to stand up and told her, what she was doing wrong was asking him. You don’t ask you just take them. When you ask they are always going to say no or no way and stew over it and make it worse. When you just take them they may be doing it before they have the chance to think. They may fight you in the beginning but after 4 to 5 times after they start doing it they may bug you to do it. It is the initial couple of times they have to get over. You have to be persistent. When my Father did not want to even try to walk because the doctors told him within three months he would not even be able to stand up he said why should I even try. I said we are going to prove them wrong. I took his hand pick him up off the couch and drag him outside and made him walk. I was persistent and said practice makes perfect. After a while he bugged me to go for a walk.
Gave Her An Example What I Did
My Father did not want to swim like it or not we are swimming there is no embarrassment. People look at you for what you are doing, not for what you can’t do.
What She Can Do
Since this is your Father remind him when you were a child he had you do things that you did not want to do, but made you do, for your good. Now I am making you do things for your good. You have to stand tough and persistent. Remind him who made me this tough, look yourself in the mirror.
How To Care For Herself
Then I told her how to care for herself. I said when you are trying to get your Father to do something he won’t do; you may raise your voice thinking he may do it. You are only making it worse. Your Father and you are frustrated You can’t let your frustration out on you Father but you a human too. You have to have a way to let it out you can’t keep it inside you. So you get a newspaper roll it up like a baseball bat .go downstairs or where no one is, get a chair and you start hitting the chair with the newspaper and talk like you wish you could to your Father. Yell like you would at him do whatever you wish you could. Once you feel good inside you, you just let all your frustrations out and no one was hurt.
What I Personally Did
I personally every night I took a bath I sat in the tub and I vision someone I look at that person and I let then have it. I let it out on the person I vision and no one was hurt.
When I finish telling her all this she looked up in the air and said “The Lord Has Spoken”. She said to me I asked this question for three years and no one knew how to answer me until you did.
People Were Amazed Of The Outcome
I took my Father to St Maartens for a vacation each winter.
There was a tourist who stopped me in a restaurant said
Sir I watch you take your Father out in the sea. My heart was beating. I could not believe what I was seeing. How you got him out there and how he did it blew my mind. Then you really threw me when you had him walk the entire beach. That was breath taking. That was an experience of a lifetime
A native from St Maartens said I always showed the two of you to my Children and said to them “See that, don’t ever say you can’t do it.”
When we came home from St Maartens and we went to our church in our town. They said there was going to be a visiting priest that was going to give some healing services. That priest said mass and when we saw him afterwards he said I know you do you know me. We said no. He said I have watched you in St Maartens for the past three years. He told us where he saw us what we did ect. He said when you walk in my teeth almost fell out of my mouth. I could not believe you were on vacation. I thought you lived there. I did you manage to travel on a plane? We put our mind to it .
When I took my Father to the golf course I played and he drove the cart. The women in the pro shop said to me when we return the cart. After seeing your Father drive that cart. What an inspiration I wish many others could see what he had done.
How He Shock Those Who Watch
When my Father ended up in a nursing home a priest who watch my Father work for me through the years said Brian what I am about to say I mean . I am not just saying it to make you feel good. Of my 72 years and I have been a priest since I was 28 I have never seen any one person family or friend do so much for another person as you did for your Father. What an experience it was.
I had the ombudsman program on top of the nursing home. The women I dealt with I called her and thank her for her help. I would not have been able to do what I did without her. She said excuse me I have to thank you. You taught me a bundle. I have had to teach my colleagues what you taught me. The nursing home may not omit it but they learned a lot from you. I hope you find seminars to speak in You can change many people’s lives.
When I left with my Fathers clothes in the nursing home after he died the social worker stop me. She said Brian I have been in this business for many years. I have never seen anyone bounce back to the degree you bounce your Father back as many times as you bounce him back. That was an experience of a lifetime.
The Power Of God
The nurses in the home said how I bounce him back they could not watch without bursting into tears. It was too powerful to watch. The answers I had they could not understand how I got them. How you manage you Father with such ease and the solutions you had. The hours I put in without dropping on my face was mind blowing. They ask me a lot of questions for helping others. They said when we have meetings on how to get others to work your name comes up. You have to write a book tell us when it comes out. I could not say but as I wrote about what happen to me when I went to Israel went through my mind As God said to me,” You just do it and I will guide you” and that he did. I knew I had to be doing more than I knew I was doing myself.
As I just said above about God every Sunday when I took my Father out I had at least five people every Sunday who came up to us impress what my Father was doing and how I was doing it. I knew I had to be doing more than I knew I was doing myself.
The Power Of Never Giving Up
When I took my Father to museums and had him participate in things it blew people’s minds. The museum employee came up to me and even told me about classes they had and will I take him. I had to work during the week but we went to classes on weekends. I had my Father make his own airplane. Put together a puzzle to make a dinosaur He chose feet and all different body parts together and gave it a name as well as many other things
When went out to eat we split the bill and had him tell me how much he owed and how much tip. He was proud to do the math .It made him feel important.
Explain To Doctors and Gave Someone Hope
I went to another seminar I explain the doctors at the seminar how things can be done. The doctors were negative that others could do so. I defended myself and explain even more. When I finish a women burst into tears. She called me over to her, sir will you please come here. Sir I don’t know how to thank you for what you said. Every doctor I have gone to told me I we become a vegetable. Nobody has hope for me. You are the first person that has given me hope. You were able to tell me what to do, how to do it,and how I can live a normal life. I never thought I would see the day that someone would have a answer that you just gave me.
Answer To A Doctor’s Question
A guess speaker at a seminar said I don’t know how to tell people they no longer can drive a car. A lot of times they don’t come back to me, but I have to report them. If I don’t I would be breaking the law. I raise my hand and stood up and said, Doctor I will tell you. But I first want to say to you if you don’t find a replacement for what you take away they are not going to do what they are capable of doing. You have to have a balance. You can’t say I want you to do this but you can’t do that. It doesn’t work that way. So when my Father could not drive in the street anymore, who says he could not drive a golf cart. Driving a golf cart on a wide open field gave him that confidence he was still able to drive. That confidence gave him more confidence to do other things. This had given him more confidence to do even more. It also took that urge away to take that car in the street when he knew he could drive that golf cart.
The doctor responded. Are you a doctor? What school did you go to? How did you ever learn that? I replied no I am not a doctor. I learn from experience when there is a will there is a way I am a persistent and determine person that had to find a way around everything no matter who says it can’t be done.
Answer To A Therapist
Another seminar I went to a therapist said People who have aspirating pneumonia there is no way of bouncing back. You have a choice either you tube feed them, or they may choke to death, or starve to death. Take your pick. I stop her and said Yes there is I have done it. She was in shock. I told her when I was told there was no way around it. My Father was only eating four ounces of food and 4 ounces of pudding thick liquid per sitting. I had taken my Father out each week to a play, opera, and ballet or to a museum I gave him a reason to live and kept everything functioning. I brought in baby food finer than what they were feeding him. I told him all the tickets we had and all the museums we had to go back to. We didn’t have time to die. We had too much to do. Will you eat this baby food? He said yes. If we aspirate we stop and tomorrow we will do better. Seven and a half weeks later he was eating two full meals per sitting and drinking 32 ounces of pudding thick liquid per sitting. For six more months he went out enjoyed those tickets and participated in things and classes in museums. It blew the therapist mind. She said when this seminar is over please don’t go anywhere we have to pick your brain. Two therapists pick it for forty minutes. They said they could not believe what they were hearing.
How To Get Someone To Draw When You Think They Can’t
Another seminar someone asked how you get someone with advance Huntington’s to draw a picture? I raise my hand and said you find the diameter of what to person can hold. Then you have then scribbled all different colors. Ever hear of modern art? You don’t need to draw an object. Then you can discuss what it is.